Very often when I write or recall my journeys, dreams and visions then the words just fall out onto the page fully formed as if they live already in another world and I am just opening the door to let them in. It may well be that is exactly what is happening. I feel a very different energy about me when I am writing and a heightened sense of awareness and connection to the deep past so I call these writings Ancient Voices.
These words, which are born of my experience in this life, are of a Soul searching nature. They come from my changing awareness as I unravel the complexities of living in this world. Over the years I have become increasingly aware of the nature of my relationships with those around me and I have realised that the most important relationship any of us will ever have is our relationship with ourselves. For me this realisation is at the root of who I am and how I live and these writings are a part of what I call my Soul Song. We all have a Soul Song and it is our own unique, individual voice that no one else will ever possess.
On a magical misty morning walking to work through the woods, loving all the cobwebs, I heard, “You are made of green flesh and green bone. A changeling nature child.”
Then I realised that is what happens when you put babies out in their prams in all weathers and leave them to cry (as my mother and countless others did.) The fairies and green spirits come and claim them and nurture them and whisper old truths in their ears and make them laugh in forgotten dreams.
And so I became a changeling child and nature claimed me as her own.
(Picture from The Story of the Root Children by Sybille von Olfers – 1906)
Sorting out Dreams. These are an extension of my daily concerns and worries and I can see clearly what issues they relate too and what daily happenings they are born from.
Wake up you have not been listening Dreams. When I first began to ‘wake up’ to Spirit, I had a lot of these dreams which often had common themes. I dreamed of cats or babies that I had put in a cupboard or forgotten to feed or nurture in some way. When I began to consciously work with my spiritual gifts then I had less of these dreams and more waking visions and words that came to me and flowed out through my writing.
Personal Prophetic Dreams. These are ones that have actually come true concerning my own life and that of my family and close friends. I dreamed my granddaughters before their arrival, saw houses that I was to live in and events that were to come and in these dreams I was given dates and shown very clearly places I had not yet been to.
End of the World Dreams. Ever since I can remember I have had these dreams where I have to leave somewhere because of some impending upheaval. I am packing up things I need to take with me, always practical things like camping and survial gear, useful items that will be necessary like food and water and always weapons for hunting and protection. Usually I am having to do this quickly, speed is of the essence and I have to balance the use of an item against its weight and importance. In these dreams I have seen floods and storms and seen the Sun and stars change their positions in the skies as the Earth moved.
Past Life Dreams. The thing I have noticed about these dreams is that there is an absolute clear sharpness about the detail in them and they do not fade like mist if I don’t write them down as soon as I wake up. In these dreams I am me but not me. Often my children, family or close friends are in the dream but again they look nothing like they do now and yet I recognise them.
I have also had several dreams which seem to relate to the most ancient times and in these dreams there is no speach only an awareness of feeling and a visual clarity like even the air itself is new and fresh.
So much of my journey has been about the unfolding and unravelling and understanding of relationships and the effect they have and how my passing through life is revealed by the people around me.
Sometimes I feel like I am just an imprint left in the sand where I was once buried. I feel like I am that dark matter stuff, the glue between everyone where they are all clearly seen and appear real but I am the missing bit that joins them all together but can’t be seen. Invisible, intangible, like morning mist or moonlight.
But if I am nothing then how is it I can still feel my heart beating?
Having no home of my own means that I have to find my home within.
Being alone means that I am not able to look to anyone else to define who I am.
If do look outside of myself for a home, or to be defined, then I end up trapped, not free to make my own decisions, caught in other peoples orbits.
When all else is stripped away only Spirit remains. Then I am free to dance to the heart beat of the Earth and the song of the stars.
Winter woman is here. I have heard her singing in the distance for some time but now she has walked through the door, earlier than expected. She is not bound and makes her own rules.The first thing she told me,
“ Love is not a soft pink promise and only fools believe it to be so. It is a strong and powerful force that shreds and tears and leaves no stone unturned in the land of lies and illusion.
It is not a dream of peace and fairytale happiness. It is a force of nature, a volcanic unstoppable force of creation.
Love is not a bauble or a light and fluffy pastime that will leave nothing undisturbed. It is not a safe place to hide.
My heart opens and my Spirit flows out weaving infinite threads into myriad patterns like delicate wings unfolding, a gossamer web floating on the wind.
My Mind charges in, jealous of all that effortless creation, and wields the stick that smashes and destroys.
My heart opens and my Spirit flows out weaving infinite threads into myriad patterns like delicate wings unfolding, a gossamer web floating on the wind……
Love is that which tears apart and scatters and opens and throws us to the sky that we become stars.Unless love breaks us apart we are too solid, too dull, too heavy to fly and will always be chained to dull life, dead life, lifeless. It is the price we pay for joy. It is the only way we know we are alive. If we do not love we have not involved ourselves in the living of life. We are just spectators watching life grind by. Without love we do not feel our heart’s beat.