These words, which are born of my experience in this life, are of a Soul searching nature. They come from my changing awareness as I unravel the complexities of living in this world. Over the years I have become increasingly aware of the nature of my relationships with those around me and I have realised that the most important relationship any of us will ever have is our relationship with ourselves. For me this realisation is at the root of who I am and how I live and these writings are a part of what I call my Soul Song. We all have a Soul Song and it is our own unique, individual voice that no one else will ever possess.
So much of my journey has been about the unfolding and unravelling and understanding of relationships and the effect they have and how my passing through life is revealed by the people around me.
Sometimes I feel like I am just an imprint left in the sand where I was once buried. I feel like I am that dark matter stuff, the glue between everyone where they are all clearly seen and appear real but I am the missing bit that joins them all together but can’t be seen. Invisible, intangible, like morning mist or moonlight.
But if I am nothing then how is it I can still feel my heart beating?
Having no home of my own means that I have to find my home within.
Being alone means that I am not able to look to anyone else to define who I am.
If do look outside of myself for a home, or to be defined, then I end up trapped, not free to make my own decisions, caught in other peoples orbits.
When all else is stripped away only Spirit remains. Then I am free to dance to the heart beat of the Earth and the song of the stars.
Winter woman is here. I have heard her singing in the distance for some time but now she has walked through the door, earlier than expected. She is not bound and makes her own rules.The first thing she told me,
“ Love is not a soft pink promise and only fools believe it to be so. It is a strong and powerful force that shreds and tears and leaves no stone unturned in the land of lies and illusion.
It is not a dream of peace and fairytale happiness. It is a force of nature, a volcanic unstoppable force of creation.
Love is not a bauble or a light and fluffy pastime that will leave nothing undisturbed. It is not a safe place to hide.
It is life not death.”
Love is that which tears apart and scatters and opens and throws us to the sky that we become stars.Unless love breaks us apart we are too solid, too dull, too heavy to fly and will always be chained to dull life, dead life, lifeless. It is the price we pay for joy. It is the only way we know we are alive. If we do not love we have not involved ourselves in the living of life. We are just spectators watching life grind by. Without love we do not feel our heart’s beat.